:: Idle Neurosis ::

:: Tuesday, April 20, 2004 ::

today is the fifth anniversary of the columbine shootings...i remember watching the shooters on tv and discussing the tragedy in high school. the world searched for an answer as to why these children were killing children....was it the music they were listening to?....their parent's lack of supervision?....the media?...violent videogames?....an endless amount of reason were sought to be found...yet we forgot to address one key factor....these children were boys. again and again boys and men use violence to fix their problem....it is our society's construction of masculinity that made these outcasts revert to violence and not speak about their problem with the boys they felt threatented their own masculinity (the jocks on their high school football team)....if we fail to address the issue that men commit 95% of the violent crimes in the US we are ignoring the key to these problems...instead we continue to send messages to young boys that they shouldn't cry and they should maintain a tough guy appearance to the world. all the while we are saying violence in general and violence toward women are all part of being a real man....hold it in, suck it up and stop being a sissy, right? well, ladies and gentlemen....here are your men....a bunch of high school boys with guns and blood on their hands....


stellar lady:: naughti 8:16 PM [+] ::
...

L'amour n'a pas de, frontiere
Restes car je t'aime comme tu es
J'ai traverse l'ocean du verbe
Et je t'ai trouve

Translated

Love has no boundaries
Stay because I love you as you are
I crossed an ocean of words
And I found you

- Talib Kweli


stellar lady:: Anonymous 1:23 PM [+] ::
...

ANSWER: Creep by Thom Yorke; Radiohead.

some good shit right there.

time to analyze stages of development and dissolution in intimate relational contexts. i was a waste of skin all day today. it felt great. now its time to getonit.

i wish i was outside right now.

movie to see: Dirty Pretty Things
realplayer: Leech; Incubus

i'm kicking myself that i shared spit with you
stellar lady:: Anonymous 7:10 PM [+] ::
...

it's at the tip of my tongue....but isn't everything?

i know it's not Lit....i can hear the voice in my head (this is the story of my life)....shitttttt i can't remember...who is it???


stellar lady:: naughti 3:05 PM [+] ::
...

the calm before the storm.

the weather helps. the sun and wind pouring through the window helps. but still, a year ago i was in amsterdam touring the Heiniken Brewery. i walked down the streets which instersected with other streets and beautiful, clean canals. then i layed out in a large park, and slept among the mass amount of people and birds that walked right up to you...

enough nostalgia. we're not in kansas anymore, dorothy. this was a rough week for some unknown reason. and not just for me, but for many that i've talked to. but things seem to be perking up. this weekend will have to be a balance of fun and work which will include fun activities such as...
~party at a friends apartment in downtown normal on friday
~filming for the short film i'm in, called Wanderlust
~party for leah on saturday
~making jewlery
~drawing with my pauly
~reading
but unfortunately will include some uneventful activities such as...
~working on my spanish paper; due wed(but will turn in on tues for i will not be in class on wed thanks to joss stone)
~working on my final artifact for my interpersonal com class
~begin reasearching for my topic analysis on the effect of non-verbal communication within groups
~and everything else that i'm sure i'm forgetting. gotta get to the eye doctor.

well, time to go figure out my schedule for next semester with my advisor. one more thing i can cross off my To Do list. i am slowly but surely ruling at life again.

oh yes, must mention. my paul will be making a documentary on sat march 24. the premise; The Ultimate Stag Challenge. it's a beer chugging contest. yes, it's very college. but then again, we are in college. and shit, i only have one more year of being a college kid so i sure as hell will be taking advantage of it. and you should too. hell, even if your're not in the challenge, atleast you'll be in the documentary. my apologies for the late notice on this upcoming event. i wasnt existing for awhile. but do make arrangements to head down to blormal and witness what will be; The Ultimate Stag Challenge. come one, come all, and if you have a mother's brother's cousin twice removed or something of that nature, they can come too.

besos guapitas.

>//

currently listening to: Beck; Nightmare Hippy Girl

she's playing footsie in another dimension...
stellar lady:: Anonymous 12:25 PM [+] ::
...

new kid: he spoke softly on hip-hop and economics. a man with few but powerful words. people listened. he wore a tan blazer and said that he was cold riding his bike. i offered my hat, but there was too much pink adorning it. he had a crooked smile that made me want to touch his lips with mine. he must be gay i thought, too beautiful to be otherwise. i probably shouldn't have stared at him so intently when he spoke to me, but he was a piece of artwork.....

i love meeting new people......even if they are made of unobtainium...hehehe


stellar lady:: naughti 10:50 PM [+] ::
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