:: Idle Neurosis ::

:: Monday, January 20, 2003 ::

upon request....
before i put this article on here, let me explain it a little. i was asked by a friend of mine to write a rather humorous opinion article for our college newspaper. i felt rather shallow writing the article, but it's all in good fun. to be quite honest, you can wear whatever you want and i could careless...everyone who knows me knows that i don't judge people according to what they wear. ok, enough defending myself...enjoy...i warned you it was long....


I feel inclined to offer a bit of advice to the opposite sex, in this case all the males out there. Everyone has their gripes in fashion, but upon talking to numerous females, there is one that sticks out as extremely tasteless yet easily fixable.
I consider myself a fairly low maintenance female, but after working in retail for over four years, I find the need to offer my clients and other guys a seemingly shallow piece of advice—throw out your tapered pants!
If the size of the bottom of your pants leaves people wondering how the hell you were able to fit your monstrous feet in them, then you are suffering from the tapered-pants syndrome. Even more appalling is having the audacity to wear tapered pants with horrendously huge gym shoes. Is there really a need to wear high-top Air Force One gym shoes outside of the basketball court?
Although tapered pants do not hinder your likeableness and great personality, it does leave others shaking their head at your fashion mishap.
The saddest part of the matter is that this seemingly small mistake can ruin the entire look of a potentially good-looking guy. But not to worry, there are a few solutions to the problem.
I understand the majority of college students do not have the cash to adorn their wardrobe with perfectly faded Armani jeans, but almost every jean manufacturer is now making wider, more fashionable jeans for men. In fact, I honestly don’t know where tapered jeans can be found! If money is really tight, hit the local thrift stores and pray that the previous owners of such clothes had a better sense of fashion than you.
If you find yourself having to decide between spending your money on a new pair of jeans or your books for the spring semester, there is one last resort. Grab a pair of scissors and carefully cut the sides of your jeans about a half of an inch on each side. This will allow for your jeans to fall a little less snug around your shoes, not to mention allow for some blood circulation to and from your ankles.
So, unless you are a guy that listens to punk music and own a pair of black Converse All-Star gym shoes, most likely you cannot pull off the tapered-pant look. Do yourself a favor and retire your 1980 inspired pants, grab a girl friend and get to shopping.



stellar lady:: naughti 9:45 PM [+] ::
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