:: Idle Neurosis ::
our day to day sporadic revelations about this thing many refer to as life. Grab bits and pieces, toss aside what you will, for this is a purely theraputic medium for our insanity. ''cuz one time, when i was high...'', ben and jerry's at 11:00pm doesn't mean a thing...| [::..stellar ladies..::] |
|---|
| :: samurai [>] |
| :: naughti [>] |
| :: nik [>] |
| [::..check this out..::] |
| :: 1000 Journals Project[>] |
| :: All Music Guide [>] |
| :: Art Of Mind [>] |
| :: BBC News [>] |
| :: Brian Andreas [>] |
| :: Democracy Now! [>} |
| :: DrudgeReport [>} |
| :: EnjoyIncubus [>] |
| :: Free Words [>] |
| :: Friendly Squirrels [>] |
| :: Found Magazine [>] |
| :: IncubusAttacks [>] |
| :: Independent Mind [>] |
| :: Indy Media[>] |
| :: John Copeland[>] |
| :: Lost Love Project[>] |
| :: Museum of Contemporary Art [>] |
| :: No-Nothing Rock [>] |
| :: Nick Hexum is my boyfriend [>] |
| :: PetE HofFman [>] |
| :: Pitchfork Media [>] |
| :: SAbrina [>] |
| :: Saddle Creek Records [>] |
| :: The Onion [>] |
| :: Trader Joes[>] |
| :: Triptii [>] |
| :: Vagrant [>] |
| :: Vegan Food [>] |
| :: Village Voice[>] |
| [::..archive..::] |
:: Wednesday, February 02, 2005 ::
the baring of scraped knees and bruised hearts
i'm always looking for stuff to get me through...
right now this helps...a clip from miss sabrina ward harrison...
"Now i carry with me every new fresh start. And every final drive away. I don't carry the worry of your departure. I don't carry your number anymore or your schedule on my mind. I carry the desire to go unnoticed and at the same time not be forgotten. I carry the laughter. I carry the dream of you before i knew you and into the days to come. I want to believe there is a bigger plan and a need that is above me for my life. a way that i can trust my decisions and the way it seems to go...
and all that is rational can tell me it is good and right and exciting...what are we aiming for? choosing adventure, choosing life...choosing the road less travelled...
i know it all must be a godsend...giving me space and my own time again, after so long...time to get some perspective, look at my own life with room around the edges...
*today, midway down in the girth of me i feel angry and weird for not understanding why. All this relationship learning...and i feel so sloppy at it. what an emotional mess...i feel like wading through new water...
i have done the best i can and i am giving everything i can think of, that i have to give. to take my life in my own two hands and not apologize. to make my life matter, to take responsibility for what i do in my life. to take responsibility for speaking up...for the ways i take care of my own body, the mistakes and successes ...to stand away from the crowd...
i want to say i'm sorry for letting you down, but i cant say sorry anymore. i cant i just cant.
there will be no one left here...
>s//
stellar lady:: Anonymous 9:42 PM [+] ::
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