:: Idle Neurosis ::

:: Thursday, February 05, 2004 ::

what? it's february already? i could have sworn that it was november only a few days ago.

classes have been keeping me busy. so if i've been out of contact please do not take it personally. i wake up in the morning and before i know it it's 12:30 at night and i havent even accomplished the shit i need to get done for the next day. time is a tricky fucker. man...if i ever meet Time i'm going to have to have a few words with him.

so, i'm not doin too well on posting here and coming up with some really cool anecdotes to share. i don't know what's going on. where am i? what am i doing in this city? that last question has been going through my mind a lot lately. not that i am unhappy here in blormal. but let me tell ya, i will sure as hell be happy to move elsewhere, ie; chicago than be a resident of bloomington-normal...especially forever.

let me break it down for ya. college is great. i'm having the time of my life. i am probably in the best place in my life so far right now. not that everything is perfect. of course not. it never happens that way. but just with everything that i've gone through and everything i've dealt with and worked through has made me very strong. and i'm very happy with my family, friends, my relationship, work, and myself/life in general. of course there are the bumps in the road with school, friends i wish i could see more...etc. but all is well. and i'm grateful for everything i've gone through. college is great.

but i am not going to be one of those numerous amounts of people who have said to me the exact line verbatum: "enjoy college while you can, it's the best part of your life." you see, i never want to be stuck in that mindset. NEVER. to me, these people are living in a constant misery wishing they could go back to the way things were because "those were the good times" and "that's when life was fun and easy." but you see, life is what you make of it. if they are unhappy with where they are in life, they need to do something about it. i refuse to be someone in the future who is constantly dwelling on the past and the "good old times." sure, nostalgia is a wonderful thing and it will be great to look back and laugh and smile upon the memories i am currently making. but i am making my future. and i firmly believe that life gets better after college. is it going to be easy? fuck no. perhaps that's the mistake all of these 'stuck in college' mindset adults made. there is a lot more responsibility and availability for problems to arise. that is part of growing up. i think these types of people are the ones who just want to take the easy way out and secretly wish they could still leech off their parents and not have a care in the world.

being a 'grown up' persay does not mean that your life is drained of vitality and excitement. it will only be that way if you create that life for yourself. i'm looking forward to having a career that i enjoy, finding a significant other, starting a family, and all that blah blah blahness that i'm sure you're silently mocking me for right now. and maybe i'm just a romantic idiot who's perspective is a by-product of western culture; but i don't think so. these are the things i want. many people think this is what they have to do and follow the path that the media has designated as the norm, and they are unhappy. but the examples i listed are things that i want. it's not going to be easy. life is never easy. but you learn from the challenges and you grow up. it can either be a painful experience or a enlightening one. choose your perspective.

so i firmly believe that life gets even better after college. trust me, this is awesome. i love being a college student. but people who think that college life is the be all end all of enjoyment in their lives are setting themselves up for a miserable life. i am not going to be one of those people.

and one more thing. living permanently in a college town? it's not for me. i will be very surprised if i end up living in blormal or in a college town once i start a career. if fact, if i do, please come get me and smash a bottle of logic upside my head. i would have to have a pretty damn good excuse for that. i just can't live in a place where over half of the town's population will forver remain between the ages of 18-22. let me tell ya. we college kids are punk asses. i wouldnt want to grow up across the street from me and my neighbors.

well, i guess that was little story time for ya. i hope that it holds you over for awhile. i dont know when i'm going to be back. valentines day is coming up. so needless to say i'll be slaving at work. fucking hallmark holidays.

currently feeling: content
this weekend: a possible love festival? if you haven't experienced this yet, you must get your booty to blormal
currently reading: well, still the best american non-required readings. and still need to finish reading vonnegut's short stories. oh, and my required readings for my classes. i should get on that.
in the cdplayer: Damien Rice; the blower's daughter

can't take my eyes off of you.
stellar lady:: Anonymous 10:49 AM [+] ::
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