:: Idle Neurosis ::

:: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 ::

i WILL make it to midnight this year. i will.

off to blormal to ring in the 2004. it's so weird to think that a year ago i was gettin ready to leave for spain. this year has gone by faster than any other before. it always seemed that the air was right in madrid for drinking. i miss the smell of europe in the morning.

well everyone, be safe and have fun. life's to short to give a shit. carpe diem.

music on the mind: The Weakerthans; Reconstruction Site

And throw away my misery,
It never meant that much to me,
It never sent a get-well card.
stellar lady:: Anonymous 1:02 PM [+] ::
...

"how many names do we have for utopia? paradise. shangri-la. eden. elysian fields. el dorado. the list goes on. humans are idealistic and impractical by nature. never satisfied with the here and now, the present moment in our sullied lives, we constantly ask ourselves, "what would life be like if..?" that place where the "if" resides is literally "nowhere"--but imaginatively, it's everywhere...for me, utopia, as a state of mind, exists somewhere between the sentiments of Ken Fandell and a quote from Scott Bodenner about what utopia would be like for him: "one could raise kids well and still make stuff. and if you loved something you made, it would sell." in the end, i guess, utopia is where you find it."~annette ferrara

caught between thought, language, action, and document, between deadly seriousness and disarming humor, purposefulness and futility, the heroic and tragic, cool languor and frenetic nerdiness--i live in this indeterminant place...

how to name your look:
~ask your grandmother how you look once in awhile.
~pick the fist thing that comes to you, write it on a piece of paper, mail it to yourself, and never open the envelope.
~my look is supposed to have a name?
~develop an ego the size of staten island.

how to accessorize:
~keep it simple
~love is timeless. love is the best acessory!

how to make your daily fashion statement express your mood:
~whatever is clean makes me happy.
~if you're a super happy person, wear anything with and embroidered disney character. like a little ray of fucking sunshine, this look really lets people know exactly where you're coming from. for the rest of us, anything is charcoal gray will do nicely.
~the choice in wrap makes all the difference. ready to rumble: beat up black leather jacket that really shouldn't be worn to work (but is anyway). feeling luxe and classy: a soft baby alpaca coat. what's underneath is optional.
~you don't have to worry about this one unless you're german.

how to wear sparkles:
~if you're brave, wear sparkles and skin

>>talent/
paradise by numbers

check out TENbyTEN: SPACE FOR VISUAL CULTURE

some good shit, on tha real...

happy ::insert appropriate terminology here::, everyone.

love.

my my my
we treat eachother just like strangers
stellar lady:: Anonymous 12:21 PM [+] ::
...

well, i guess i'm shit....



stellar lady:: naughti 6:10 PM [+] ::
...

your fuck.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahaha

stellar lady:: Anonymous 8:34 AM [+] ::
...

once again i'm in the same place i was about a year ago....i can't stand being by myself right now...so i called everyone i know hoping to find comfort in someone's voice...as strong as i know i am capable of being, right now i am vulnerable...weak.....i knew it was going to happen...i could feel it....i know it all too well....i know you all too well....just sad at the way perfect things never seem to work out....time to walk away once again from the strange feeling i have in my stomach....strange, strange life.....no one's fault but my own....if only you knew...if only it mattered....

"we've tried the good-byes so many days, we walk in the same direction so that we could never stray..."--Harper


stellar lady:: naughti 8:46 PM [+] ::
...

so i had an interesting conversation with my neighbor derek last night at about 2:30AM...

::knock on my door::

derek: hi sam
sam: hi derek
derek: i have a really strange favor to ask you
sam: what do you need derek
::he drunkenly giggles to himself::
derek: well...see...i was wondering if you had any tampons
::i look at him perplexed::
sam: derek...you're making me nervous here. what are you boys planning on doing with a tampon?
derek: well...see the thing is...
::he laughs; sort of embarrased::
derek: the thing is...my girlfriend is here...and we're going to have sex...but she's on her period...and we're going to do it anyways...but she'll need something afterwards.
::i look at him appalled::
sam: derek, i cannot believe you just proceeded to tell me that
derek: haha...well...do you have any?
sam: dude, you seriously want one?
derek: yes
sam: alright, hold on a sec
::i go to my room...get a tampon...and give it to him::
derek: thank you so much...serioiusly...i owe you one
sam: um, not a problem. well....have fun.
derek: thanks sam...catch you later
sam: goodnight derek
::derek stumbles back into his apartment::

moral of this story? a guy will do anything to get laid.
stellar lady:: Anonymous 9:28 PM [+] ::
...

my eyes hurt......reason being????...perhaps it is the 12 straight hours of studying (minus the eating and dance session)....perhaps.

why it is all worth it.....tomorrow will be my last day of science for the rest of my life....can i get an amen?!

welcome to the home-stretch




stellar lady:: naughti 1:30 AM [+] ::
...

have you ever been so overwhelmed by every aspect of your life that it pushes you to the point of sitting still?
stellar lady:: Anonymous 11:54 PM [+] ::
...

'so i sit alone. when the urge to call someone arises i wait for it to pass. take the pain. get stronger. get off on strength. get high on strength. fuck these half-people, half-insect fakes. tiny words. shit talking. no action. fuck you. '
~henry rollins (spanks sam :-))

oh man is this paper killing me...mostly cuz i can't just pull random stuff out of my arse...but it'll be done by tonight..i promise myself....and if i lie to myself then who can i trust?

there's something terribly beautiful about wireless interenet...


stellar lady:: naughti 6:57 PM [+] ::
...

"You must give birth to your images.
They are the future waiting to be born.
Fear not the strangeness that you feel.
The future must enter you long before it happens.
Just wait for the birth, for the hour of new clarity."

- Rainer Maria Rilke

stellar lady:: Anonymous 7:22 PM [+] ::
...

everyone...go here...sign the petition...

www.saveovertimepay.org

blogger isn't really workin right now...so i can't be all smooth with my inserted links...but this was also interesting as well...

http://electroniciraq.net/news/1225.shtml

yes, you'll have to copy and past. i know. a pain in the ass. but you can deal.

ooo ooo...visit www.brandonboydbooks.com and you'll be able to get a glimpse as to what i'm currently reading right now. teehee.

my soc paper is 7 pages. i cranked it out in two days. and it's damn good. how much do i rule. except for the fact that i didnt make it to my 9 oclock today. for this; i am worthless. but i was just so exhausted.

yup, that's all. one week left, four finals to go. time to rock and roll.

ciao.
stellar lady:: Anonymous 11:27 AM [+] ::
...

i know i'm not supposed to feel this way...but i do and i'm alright with that. where i'm supposed to be and where i am are completely two different places...hopefully they will overlap some day. it's never too late to figure out who we are...it just takes some of us longer than others.

currently: listening to horrible promotional music sent to the chicago flame
why i am here so early: lab done early and i'm too tired to take a nap
today: studying for my social inequality final
what i wish i were doing today: playing my guitar, drinking tea, painting, enjoying the company of those that i love.
movie to see: love, actually
why i am doing these: procrastination.

he said that i was just his type of girl, then he walked away never turning back.
stellar lady:: naughti 9:05 AM [+] ::
...

us stellar ladies have been slacking this semester. sometimes life just gets in the way. i need to be studying right now. but i'm exhausted. my room is a mess. i still haven't unpacked. only a week and a half left. i cannot wait for this semester to be over. as for the semester to come? well, i had an early morning epiphany today. i am going to switch my major. "now????!!!!!" you may be thinking to yourself. yes, and i think it will all be alright. since having been in madrid i really havent cracked into any of the mass comm classes yet. tho i'm not moving that far. i'm going into speech communication...focusing on organizational communication. once i have all the details; you'll be the first to know. but i will most likely drop the spanish major down to a minor...possible get a minor in business. we'll see how it all plays out. i guess i'll be gettin to where i'm goin. hopefully i can still be outta blormal in four years. i will have to work my ass off. but i'm pumped. the train by my apartment is howling by right now. i can't stop yawning. and cody's method for preventing them does not work. yawns are an unstoppable force. it's getting really cold outside. i don't understand people sometimes. how grand all would be if everyone was real with one another. mindgames are overrated and lame. at times i honestly think i have ADD. test in history of africa tomorrow. and a 6-8 page soc paper due friday that i have not started. i think i may be an undercover procrastinator.

alright kids. study or fail.

i won't hold my breath for you
stellar lady:: Anonymous 11:05 PM [+] ::
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