:: Idle Neurosis ::

:: Saturday, November 29, 2003 ::

ahhh...the pointless wars of the heart...
stellar lady:: Anonymous 1:48 PM [+] ::
...

"wow, 30 packs are heavier than 24's!"

i love my roomates.
stellar lady:: Anonymous 8:54 PM [+] ::
...

well, here i am. so busy with school i got papers coming out of my arse...but it's ok cuz i've been here before...it's all about time utilization. but i'm one of those people who works hard and plays even harder...i don't believe in not making time for the people in my life...so yeah thursday thru saturday are spent out on the town having fun with the people i love, even if it means cramming for some classes. currently i am working on papers on topics such as, the causes of urban poverty, an analyzation of shakespeare and sydney's sonnets, and a statement of poetics...all this plus keeping up with reading, editing articles for the newspaper, and work. Three more weeks and i can breath.
My new theory on love: Love is nothing more than a power struggle. Think about how the person you are in a relationship has the power to bring you up or down, and how vulnerable you are to that person. This is not necessarily a bad thing, unless the feelings are coming more from one side than the other...in other words the power is coming more from one side than the other. And just when you think you obtained the power in the relationship, the ball is suddenly in the other player's court.....of course i believe this game all changes with time and when the right person is found, but how many times must we play in order to find a balanced relationship?

My new annoyance: i was cooking yesterday and the fire alarm went off and now the alarm is beeping every minute....this wouldn't be a problem if i didn't have high ceilings that NO ONE can reach.

Music: ben harper mix....he is a beautiful, beautiful person.

my sympathy to sam....i feel ya babe.
stellar lady:: naughti 8:25 PM [+] ::
...

fucking fuck. i hate computers. especially the viruses that put porn on my computer and destroy my hard drive. i can't even start my computer up. this is the worst time for this to happen. i can't be writing papers on this computer at work. fucking fuck.

i quit the internet.
stellar lady:: Anonymous 11:55 AM [+] ::
...

catching my breath...

it's been awhile. i know. i hate it when that happens. there's no excuse; but i have come to realize something. my life is groovin along and really enjoyable right now in a very consistent way.

granted i have my day to day stresses...frustrations with given situations...but overall i'm quite content. school has been busy. the semester is winding down and crunch time is coming up. but only after a nice long week break. i love it. i've been workin' it....5-6 days a week at washburns...keeps me goin and brings in the money to support my college kid habits...ooo! may have a second job next semester....Will from the House of Funk(a popular thrift store for you non-blormal residents) will most likely have hours for me. as long as scheduling works out...that job will by definition rule.

i had an extremely fun weekend...a three nite workout of my liver by doing 12 oz curls. quite the fun...dare i admit that i had a blast at a frat house at Bradley last nite? those doods were cool though. free beer. a lot of dancing. there was a huge baby pool filled with live goldfish. everyone was swallowing them. for the life of me, i don't know why. i attribute it to the frat boy mentality. but nonetheless, cool doods.

so yeah, good everything...i'm doing excellent...there's just nothing too anecdotal. i'll work on that for ya.

so, did ya hear about the sorority girl that fucked AC Slater last week? ha, ISU is on the map baby. i personally would have held out for Zack Morris.

currently reading: Practicing Community: Class Culture and Power in an Urban Neighborhood
in the cdplayer: Jimmy Eat World; Clarity

it all seems so odd sometimes
and the odds all seem stacked
stellar lady:: Anonymous 7:35 PM [+] ::
...

story of the day:

i've been fighting a cold for the past couple of days and my wonderful roomate, huff, has been giving me this herbal tea that she swears cures colds....so i've been drinking this stuff and i wake up finally able to breath....
me: hey huff what's in this stuff anyway?
huff: you know i'm not sure what herbs are in there
(huff then looks at the packaging and reads the ingredients....she reads them aloud in urdu)
huff: KHASH KHASH??! (she exclaims with huge eyes)
nadia:who?
huff: khash khash is marijuana in my language.
nadia: wow, that's some good shit.

well, i'm going to be MIA for the next couple of weeks....love ya guys....



stellar lady:: naughti 9:01 PM [+] ::
...

~the meaning is lost
words just wont work
words are slowly demeaning
their meanings
words make things worse
words are always repeating
losing their feeling
these words failed
words fail~
~cursive

school.....honestly, how much longer?

i found a fatal flaw in the logic of love.
stellar lady:: Anonymous 1:13 AM [+] ::
...

He shifts in bed
fighting sleep.
A self defense against
what awaits him in dream.
He will not win the battle
or dream of spring in Spain
or walk on clouds
where angels play
or strum his mandolin in a field of olive trees.
Instead, he will dream of her
wearing a crown of pink orchids
and a smile she will uncover
with those lips he can no longer touch.



stellar lady:: naughti 8:43 PM [+] ::
...

~the first set of rules i ever made was with him. the manifesto. we agreed that everything should be forgiven well in advance, and no lines drawn in the sand. the day i left he couldn't stop crying. these days, months later, he keeps drawing lines arbitrarily, diagramming pain around both of us. even after all the games, his broken voice still attempts to pull at the soft recovering tissue lining my lungs. it's been months since i've made him smile, but i can still hear those words tripping easily over his teeth and falling to the floor in an endless cascade: "i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you." sometimes memory is stronger than truth.~
~~


stellar lady:: Anonymous 3:07 AM [+] ::
...

holla!! hey ladies you think we should start our own dictionary?....wait until you meet my friend mikey....not only is this kid a flaming metrosexual and dances like a stripper but his vocabulary is "off the dog-leash" (just one of the many 'mikey phrases'). his nickname is none other than 'photoslut' and when you call his phone he says something along the line of something, something..."big beef hotline"...something, something. the only reason i'm sharing this kid's crazy personality is cuz he makes me laugh like no one else can....i'm even laughing thinking about him. he also had me take a dozen pictures of him smoking a hookah while he made love to the camera.

this weekend consisted of dancing, drunken phonecalls (first prize goes to the drunken phonecall about a broken gun), losing voices, breaking up, making up, and a little kid named niko.

what i really need is a nik and sam fix.
stellar lady:: naughti 6:28 PM [+] ::
...